I wanted to start off this blog fresh, with fresh insight and gym tips for anyone who may be stepping into the gym for the first time. It is that time of the year where all these Slim Jim’s or Big Mac’s are wanting to workout and improve their health…even though they will only be following through with it for two weeks tops. From someone who spends each day in the gym, and has been for a while, here are some things to keep in mind if you are one of those fellow newbies.
Rack the damn weights. That’s right, it’s the easiest damn thing to do. If you have the strength to load a barbell with some 45’s, or even 10’s for those less privileged, put the damn weights up when you are done with your sets. I walk into the gym today for my Leg Day Monday, and on the barbell lies a 45 pound plate. One fucking 45 pound plate. Now, I wasn’t benching today so I had no use for the bench, but just looking over at it in between sets, thinking to myself which lazy fuck was able to unload one 45 and leave the other on there? Like, come on people…it is gym etiquette. Bet your ass if I saw the fucker who walked away with one plate remaining on the bench, I’m sure as hell going to say something to him or possibly throw that one plate at him (not really). But still, be courteous of the other fellow lifters who may want to use that bench after you and rack your damn shit.
Put the weights in the right spot. Speaking of the above scenerio, when racking your weights, make sure you put the plates in the correct spot. At the same exact bench as mentioned above, i’m guessing the same fucking decided to put that one 45 pound plate where the 10’s go. I mean, come on…are your knees that fucked up to where you can bend down just a little bit to put the 45’s in the correct spot? Even Hellen Keller could see that when the 45 was in the 10’s spot, that it was overlapping the 45’s that were below it, in the correct spot. This just causes more work for the next lifter to have to un-fuck what the previous lifter did. Again, be courteous and at least show you have a damn brain. This shit isn’t rocket science, it is just proper etiquette.
If you are a dude, don’t stare at other dudes while they are lifting. No matter what kind of weight they are throwing around. I was squatting today, and there was this one guy who kept looking at me. Yes, I was facing a mirror so I could see him in the corner of my eye. You have no idea how uncomfortable that is to another dude, especially when they are squatting ass to the grass. I mean, yes I have a nice butt. Am I setting myself up for heterosexual males to be staring…probably. But it all comes down to this – If you aren’t spotting me, you aren’t watching me. Plus, it is just creepy as hell. I could understand if they came up to me afterwards asking for advice, but no, that did not happen. Don’t be one of those fuckers.
Be loud. If you are lifting heavy weights, be fucking loud! Grunt, throw the dumbbells on the ground, slam the bar if you are deadlifting. You WANT people to know you fucking mean business. You are in there to pick heavy shit up and throw heavy shit down. Who cares if your twig ass is dumbbell benching 15 pounds. You throw those motherfuckers down and let everyone know you made those weights your bitch.
Don’t spend 50% of your time on your phone, and the other 50% actually lifting. I’ll admit, I get on my phone when I’m at the gym. I only do it to change the song or take a pic of the weights I just murdered for their obituary. Don’t be checking Facebook or Instagram in between every fucking set because nothing has changed since the last time you checked it 2 minutes prior. If you want to take a gym selfie to make people believe that you are actually working out, fine. That is okay every now and again, but your focus should be on the gains that you are trying to make and the in-explainable pain that you will be putting your body through. Nothing else matters when you are at the gym.
Clean your fucking sweat off the equipment. We sweat like pigs when we are working hard, but for gods sake, clean your filthy sweat marks off the bench before someone else uses the bench. Nobody wants to be benching 100’s on a bench that smells like two Mexicans just got done fucking in a sewer. I don’t care how well you smelled when you walked into the gym, when you start sweating, you smell like shit. Clean up after yourself.
These are just a few keys to your success in the gym so everyone doesn’t laugh at your, or like me, talk shit about the stuff you do. Even if you will forever have those string bean arms, at least you know some proper gym etiquette. Star the new year off right and train your ass off, because if you don’t train hard, then don’t train at all.
Dnep
Iron Yanks Training 